Loch Ness Monster says “I am not an elephant”

Dr. Neil Clarke of the University of Glasgow has cracked a great new theory about Nessie: She’s an elephant from the circus having a bath in Loch Ness!!! Well, aficionados of this website don’t need telling that this is a lot of hogwash (excuse the pun) and a cursory look at the facts leads us to the conclusion that Nessie is a plesiosaur, pre and simple.

1. Loch Ness is actually many miles from Inverness. So if a circus was visiting they’d have to cart their elephants miles for a swim. Not likely.

2. If a circus elephant was swimming in Loch Ness one would expect its human minders to be with it (I mean, would you let your expensive large pet swim off on its own?!) There would also be colourful circus-with trailers – parked all over the place. People would notice!

3. The waters in Loch Ness NEVER rise above 5 degrees centigrade and that’s way-to-cold for elephant baths.

No, nice try but it is clear that Nessie is a plesiosaur.

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