Loch Ness Monster to be saved from passive smoking

Yes folks, it’s official! On Sunday 26th March this year the filthy and anti-social habit of smoking will be 100% banned in ALL PUBLIC places in Scotland. Take note Spain and get your act together!!! I love your tapas bars in Madrid but they are still full of stinky smokers who should all be forced out onto the streets where they belong!

Scotland follows the lead from its Celtic cousins in Eire and what a wonderful world it will be. But Nessie has noticed that there are a few nasty little places around the area that have sworn to defy the ban and break the law and that must be prevented. A short while ago the Loch Ness 2000 exhibition in Drumnadrochit (which I don’t suggest anybody bother visiting since I don’t think it’s much more than a glorified show about plankton and mud) allowed its big mobile Nessie to be dragged around the city of Inverness with a huge cigarette in its mouth to campaign for the ill-fated pro-smoking Publican Party (so few people voted for them that the sad losers lost their election deposit, hah hah hah!) during the last general election campaign. Disgusting. Boycott them, I say!!!

Now, this website defends Nessie the Loch Ness Monster’s health and the health of locals and visitors to the area so if you see anybody smoking in a bar, restaurant or anywhere else in an enclosed public space on Sunday 26th March or any time after, please be sure and complain to the authorities who will impose heavy fines on the smokers and massive fines on the offending bar or restaurant.

We only want nice law-abiding and clean-smelling places in the Highlands so let us know of any violators so that we can name and shame them on this website for putting peoples’ lives at risk and ruining the environment.

If you find a smoking violation on or after the 26th March and feel aggrieved you can call 0845 130 7250 to register your complaint.

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