Anti-viral drug trials set to begin in bid to save Loch Ness Monster

Leading Loch Ness Monster researcher and project leader Professor Kettle will begin tests on the suitability of Tamiflu as a treatment for the aging Scottish plesiosaur. He is concerned that the large number of cases of H5N1 in the United Kingdom (at least 50 infected finches and other birds) means that it is only a matter of time until the virus enters the fragile eco system that has been home to Nessie for several million years. Dinosaurs share a great deal of DNA with today’s birds so it is more than likely that a plesiosaur will fall victim to the coming pandemic. If this happens, Tamiflu may be Nessie’s only chance to survive.

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