APPEAL: PLEASE DO NOT VISIT LOCH NESS OR THE HIGHLANDS AND ISLANDS DURING CORONAVIRUS COVID19.

Our heath service and shops are already at BREAKING POINT and your visit may result in your own death or somebody else’s as supplies and facilities run out. You will be welcome again in the future but please be responsible and do not come now.

Our appeal is being bolstered by many responsible businesses already closing to visitors (including B&Bs and hostels). But where we see hotels etc. continue to open to tourists against the advice of government (who have requested “social distancing at ALL times of at least 2 metres”) we ask you to complain about them and ask your booking agent or website to cancel their accounts and to email info@visitscotland.com to complain to them and campaign for them to publish prominent advice to visitors to STAY AWAY.

We are pleased that other Tourist Agencies including North Coast 500 and Routes To The Isles are already taking action to try and persuade tourists and visitors to DO THE DECENT THING and STAY AWAY.

Black Isle Beauty Spot “begs” tourists to stay away.

Thank You.

Mega Hotel Blot To Destroy City Centre Parking

Locals love Rose Street car park. It has a beautiful entrance slope up to an elevated parking platform with sweeping views of Homebargains, Iceland and the toy superstore plus of course the unique and award winning Hanging Gardens of Inverness. The lower level provides shelter for winos and druggies with quick easy access to the bus station and local pubs.

Now all this will be destroyed by a new tower block hotel. The residents of the hotel will have the views to themselves and normal folk will just have to find a space miles from the High Street or squeeze into the multi-storey, which is already full at peak periods.

We salute Highland Council and its inspired planning department for wrecking another part of the so-called city.

Blot On The Landscape As Countryside Levelled For Inverness Westway

Yes, it may be the 2019 but Highland Council has decided to buck the trend towards modernity and build a hideous new transit road by levelling ancient oak woods and huge swathes of countryside to install a “swing bridge” on a major arterial road.

A82 Inverness West Link By Pass
A82 Inverness West Link By Pass

Not only does Inverness suffer from appalling infrastructure including pothole cratered roads and a single track Victorian railway to the south, its Internet and mobile coverage is so bad in many places that it registers on a scale well below many parts of the 3rd world.

“It’s all just superb” as the lavish freebies and expenses crazed city “leaders” would say, but judge for yourself: It’s a sad sad joke and terrible damage to wildlife and habitat just compounds the folly.

Read more here and the picture gives a view of a small part of the carnage.

Hopes fade about new Inverness & Highlands Caledonian Sleeper Service

Caledonian Sleeper Inverness
Caledonian Sleeper Inverness

The new train’s rolling stock has been beset by problems with reports of brake fails, dodgy plumbing and cold or hot rooms with poor showers and uncomfortable beds. Tickets cost up to £400 (approx $450) for a London – Inverness return ticket (you can fly for as little as £15 each way!!!)

All-in-all I think it sounds dreadful. We’ll see what mess happens next.

A Location App That Could Save Your Life With Three Words – What3Words

We’re always suspicious of claims made for this and that but if you’re setting off on a hike, ride, boating or climbing around Loch Ness (or anywhere else in the world) then please consider loading up “What 3 Words” App onto your phone.

It is genius (and free!). The boffins have split the world into trillions of tiny squares and the App changes your complicated latitude and longitude into a unique combination of three words, which you can give to anybody – including the emergency services – who need to find *exactly* where you are. Even the police are urging folk to use it.

We use it, give it a try – and read more about it on the BBC.

What3Words website is here.

Speculation mounts that a government helicopter searched for land based Loch Ness Monster today

Helicopter searches for Loch Ness Monster
Helicopter searches for Loch Ness Monster

Locals were stunned today when the government dispatched a highly sophisticated helicopter to search for Nessie, the ever elusive Loch Ness Monster. Exclusive photographs have been provided to this Blog showing an extensive search after a hill walker reported seeing “something strange but massive lumbering over rocks” on the mountain above Loch Ness.

An un-named spokesman for HM Search & Rescue said “obviously we are aware that Nessie is a Protected Species under the Animal Welfare Act and we have a duty to ensure she is safe and not in danger of capture or injury by nefarious individuals or trophy hunters. Accordingly we dispatched and Air & Sea Search & Rescue helicopter with the latest location technology.”

The spokesman added, “on this occasion we did not locate The Loch Ness Monster but were able to secure the area and make sure the beast was safe. Since the famous Spicer Sighting of 1936 Nessie has often been seen on land and we regularly patrol the area in support of Professor Kettle’s Loch Ness Internet Research Project and other local authorities”.

Caledonian Sleeper: last week the brakes failed and today the whole train packed up at 5.20 in the morning

Outraged tourists were dumped at Preston and told no buses were available to take them on to London at 5.20am. They were allso told to shell out for new train tickets in the latest mess to embroil the new Caledonian Sleeper service. Last week a runaway service ploughed through Edinburgh Waverly station as its brakes failed and was only brought to an eventual halt with the emergency brake.

To add to the woe carriages have been plagues with problems and no food was served on a service last month. Now staff have said “management has lost the plot” and voted overwhelmingly to strike.

Maybe it’s had its day. Read more here.

The Real Loch Ness Monsters – Fort Augustus Abbey

Over twenty possible victims of the Fort Augustus Abbey and Carlekemp School sexual abuse scandals have been identified by police as they research terrible details of what looks like the story of the Real Monsters of Loch Ness.

There is more about this in the Inverness Courier. Specialist police teams are investigation allegations of sex abuse by some monks dating back to the 1970s.

Pogonophobiacs Warned to Steer Clear of Loch Ness

Bearded hunter warning

 

The BBC’s Jeremy Paxman has identified pogonophobia as a cause for concern and Loch Ness is reeling as the area is well known to be full of sad and vain bearded old men.

Clean shaven Professor Kettle spoke to us from his Loch Ness project HQ and warned visitors who suffer from pogonophobia (the fear of beards) to keep away or risk feeling queasy. “We seem to buck the UK trend when it comes to facial hair. Fortunately the women generally steer clear of beards around the loch but many monster specimens of the male denomination do exist. Some extreme examples are quite wild and unwieldy and could put an unwary tourist right off their tea. Our research reinforces the view that Neanderthal Man lived in peat bogs around Loch Ness and possibly still does.”

Dr. Pott added, “Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, is thought to be beardless and it’s heartening that the next generation have pretty much put beards to one side in favour of more sensible things like getting themselves an education. Cryptozoologists get a bad press, often because they aren’t formally qualified and cryptozoology deserves better”.