tourism - The Officially Original Loch Ness Monster Blog

APPEAL: PLEASE DO NOT VISIT LOCH NESS OR THE HIGHLANDS AND ISLANDS DURING CORONAVIRUS COVID19.

Our heath service and shops are already at BREAKING POINT and your visit may result in your own death or somebody else’s as supplies and facilities run out. You will be welcome again in the future but please be responsible and do not come now.

Our appeal is being bolstered by many responsible businesses already closing to visitors (including B&Bs and hostels). But where we see hotels etc. continue to open to tourists against the advice of government (who have requested “social distancing at ALL times of at least 2 metres”) we ask you to complain about them and ask your booking agent or website to cancel their accounts and to email info@visitscotland.com to complain to them and campaign for them to publish prominent advice to visitors to STAY AWAY.

We are pleased that other Tourist Agencies including North Coast 500 and Routes To The Isles are already taking action to try and persuade tourists and visitors to DO THE DECENT THING and STAY AWAY.

Black Isle Beauty Spot “begs” tourists to stay away.

Thank You.

Loch Ness Coronavirus Covid-19 Horror

Inverness by Loch Ness starts Coronavirus Testing in Emergency Army Style Horror

Locals and visitors to the areas have been very concerned as “Drive-Thru” Bio-Hazard tents have been erected to test people for the deadly coronavirus COVID-19. Medical staff at Raigmore hospital attend the plague containment units wearing special suits and breathing apparatus.

A spokesperson for the silent majority said, “we have the Loch Ness Monster – protected in law by the government – so we cannot risk the virus doing more damage. Already people have been panic buying in supermarkets and no hand sanitizer is available, with pasta and toilet paper among other items now is short supply”.

Anyone arriving in The Highlands could be dealt with by ever stricter quarantine policies and Invergordon has already announced a potential sinking of cruise ferry arrivals. Empty hotels and restaurants are reeling.

Inverness Street Peddler faces trial for multiple alleged rapes including child victims.

Kim Gordon (aka Kim Avis aka Kem) is accused of raping three women and attempting to rape one of them when she was 12.

The 55-year-old is also accused of sexually assaulting a girl when she was 11 and faces breach of the peace and threatening and abusive behaviour charges.

The allegations cover a period between January 1997 and March this year and mainly relate to alleged incidents in the Inverness area.

The trial will commence in Edinburgh High Court on 20 March 2020.

Mega Hotel Blot To Destroy City Centre Parking

Locals love Rose Street car park. It has a beautiful entrance slope up to an elevated parking platform with sweeping views of Homebargains, Iceland and the toy superstore plus of course the unique and award winning Hanging Gardens of Inverness. The lower level provides shelter for winos and druggies with quick easy access to the bus station and local pubs.

Now all this will be destroyed by a new tower block hotel. The residents of the hotel will have the views to themselves and normal folk will just have to find a space miles from the High Street or squeeze into the multi-storey, which is already full at peak periods.

We salute Highland Council and its inspired planning department for wrecking another part of the so-called city.

Blot On The Landscape As Countryside Levelled For Inverness Westway

Yes, it may be the 2019 but Highland Council has decided to buck the trend towards modernity and build a hideous new transit road by levelling ancient oak woods and huge swathes of countryside to install a “swing bridge” on a major arterial road.

Not only does Inverness suffer from appalling infrastructure including pothole cratered roads and a single track Victorian railway to the south, its Internet and mobile coverage is so bad in many places that it registers on a scale well below many parts of the 3rd world.

“It’s all just superb” as the lavish freebies and expenses crazed city “leaders” would say, but judge for yourself: It’s a sad sad joke and terrible damage to wildlife and habitat just compounds the folly.

Read more here and the picture gives a view of a small part of the carnage.

Calls For Councilors to Resign Over River Ness Mess

As Highland Council struggles to care for its elderly, half a million pounds has been wasted on a pitiful new concrete mess that resembles a section of the old Berlin Wall planned to be sited alongside the beautiful River Ness.

Highland Council art – not built yet and £500,000 already spent

Some members of the public have called on the provost and other councilors to resign as they have been key actors in the secretive cabal of Highland councilors determined to push through their vanity project in the face of public outrage.

One told this blog, “the days of ‘if they don’t have bread let them eat cake’ are long over and we have old people freezing and dying and a broken care system but the figurehead of Highland Council seems to think she in Marie-Antoinette”.

Highland Council had to be FORCED by law to reveal the scale of its profligacy as the local campaign group, OpenNess, which is pledged to fight the provost’s nightmarish mess had to use The Freedom Of Information Act to obtain the figures relating to the secretive and vast wastage of public money.

You can read more about this awful tale of arrogance and indifference to the lives of Highlanders in the Inverness Courier.

Nice new photo of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster?

There is a nice new photo in today’s Daily Mail of a possible Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Resident expert Professor Kettle isn’t sure though: “It does look very much like a boat wake. The weird standing waves and undersea currents in Loch Ness often cause things that look strange to folk who come across them for the first time.”

However, dedicated monster hunter Mikko, of Nessie on the Net! and the Loch Ness Live Cams said, “it is clearly a creature swimming just below the surface of the loch. I’ve seen this time and again and it adds to the irrefutable proof that a cryptid (unidentified cryptozoological beast) is living in Loch Ness.”

Tell us what you think of the photos, you can see them in today’s Daily Mail newspaper.

The Real Loch Ness Monsters – Fort Augustus Abbey

Over twenty possible victims of the Fort Augustus Abbey and Carlekemp School sexual abuse scandals have been identified by police as they research terrible details of what looks like the story of the Real Monsters of Loch Ness.

There is more about this in the Inverness Courier. Specialist police teams are investigation allegations of sex abuse by some monks dating back to the 1970s.

Pogonophobiacs Warned to Steer Clear of Loch Ness

Bearded Loch Ness Researchers — Bearded hunter warning

The BBC’s Jeremy Paxman has identified pogonophobia as a cause for concern and Loch Ness is reeling as the area is well known to be full of sad and vain bearded old men.

Clean shaven Professor Kettle spoke to us from his Loch Ness project HQ and warned visitors who suffer from pogonophobia (the fear of beards) to keep away or risk feeling queasy. “We seem to buck the UK trend when it comes to facial hair. Fortunately the women generally steer clear of beards around the loch but many monster specimens of the male denomination do exist. Some extreme examples are quite wild and unwieldy and could put an unwary tourist right off their tea. Our research reinforces the view that Neanderthal Man lived in peat bogs around Loch Ness and possibly still does.”

Dr. Pott added, “Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, is thought to be beardless and it’s heartening that the next generation have pretty much put beards to one side in favour of more sensible things like getting themselves an education. Cryptozoologists get a bad press, often because they aren’t formally qualified and cryptozoology deserves better”.

Amazon Pacu – flesh eating fish the real Loch Ness Monster?

In a worrying new development, Amazon Pacu ball chomping fish have been attacking swimmers off the coast of Sweden and are now feared to be heading for Loch Ness.

The critters are cousins of piranhas and can grow large: 90 centimetres long and weighing up to 25 kgs. They are nicknamed “ball cutter” for frequent attacks on the male genitalia.

Speaking exclusively to us, eminent Professor Kettle said, “obviously my Loch Ness research project is now closely monitoring the situation and we’d advise everyone not to totally panic – but do take extra care to always wear full body swimsuits in Loch Ness and be on the look out for these fish. We want to hear from anyone who encounters them or sees suspicious activity via our sister resource site, Nessie on the Net. Please email me at Loch Ness HQ.”

Another long established and world famous Loch Ness researcher, Dr. Pott added, “needless to say, the fish have apparently made the enormous journey from the Amazon to Sweden. It’s only a comparatively short hop for them into the very hospitable nutrient and food rich waters of Loch Ness.”

Speaking about the Swedish incidents, an expert for the Danish Museum told the UK’s Daily Telegraph newspaper “The pacu is not normally dangerous to people but it has quite a serious bite, there have been incidents in other countries, such as Papua New Guinea where some men have had their testicles bitten off.”

There is more on the terrifying fish that are rampaging Sweden in the Daily Telegraph newspaper. How will cryptid Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, cope with this latest amazing phenomena? Our world leading cryptozoologists and experts will keep you posted as events unfold on the ground and in the deep and murky water.