Highland Council Applies to Itself For Planning Permission!

Highland Council applies to itself for permission
Highland Council applies to itself for permission

It’s an odd one this but planners have applied to themselves to get their own permission to waste £100,000s of “Common Good” money on a hideous precast concrete Berlin Wall, which is to be built to obscure the shoreline of the natural and beautiful River Ness.

This monstrosity is an apparently much beloved vanity project backed by the likes of local provost Helen Carmichael (rarely to be seen not wearing her “chains of office”) and the die hard anti-art brigade are hell bent on despoiling Inverness and wasting the money even when it is desperately needed for very worthy projects to fight and alleviate Coronoavirus COVID19.

Read here about the latest farce.

Inverness Ghost Town As Coronavirus COVID19 Rages

Inverness Coronavirus
Inverness Coronavirus

In scenes from an apocalyptic movie, Scotland’s Capital of the Highlands, Inverness, is now a ghost city. Hardly any people are to be seen. Shops are boarded up and if a man was pulling a cart up the High Street yelling “bring out your dead” was working, it would be like the Great Plague of the 17th century.

Restaurants, takeaways, pubs, theatres, social venues, public gardens – just about everything is closed and tourists, visitors and locals are being told to stay away and stay at home.

“It’s a disaster for the Loch Ness Research Project for Internet Anomalies, Professor Kettle told this paper. “We are doing what we can from self-isolation on our carbon fibre floating hub on Loch Ness but we have been told we must stay anchored well away from the land and have supplies sent to us by boat with social distancing maintained at all times. Obviously, if Nessie became infected then this pandemic could become much worse as the interaction of a novel virus with a Jurassic creature could cause unknown mutations”.

COVID-19 Fears for Loch Ness Monster

Nessie Covid19 Concern
Nessie in Covid-19 Concern

Locals are beginning to fear that novel coronavirus (COVID19) may have infected Nessie and possibly killed the creature(s). No credible sightings of the monster have been made since the lock-down of Scotland began a month ago.

“We know that the Loch Ness Monster is a prehistoric creature and therefore shares DNA with modern birds and animals. In fact, birds are descendants of the dinosaurs and that is why recent outbreaks of Avian Flu have also placed the cryptid at risk”, Professor Kettle – leader of the Loch Ness Investigative Research Project said.

The government has passed laws preventing tourists from visiting the Highlands of Scotland until further notice and all non-essential businesses are closed. All we can do is hope that Nessie is safe and will be seen again soon.

Now, more than ever, keep your eyes peeled for her on our Award Winning Loch Ness LiveCams.

Loch Ness Coronavirus Covid-19 Horror

Inverness by Loch Ness starts Coronavirus Testing in Emergency Army Style Horror

Locals and visitors to the areas have been very concerned as “Drive-Thru” Bio-Hazard tents have been erected to test people for the deadly coronavirus COVID-19. Medical staff at Raigmore hospital attend the plague containment units wearing special suits and breathing apparatus.

Loch Ness Corona Virus
Loch Ness Corona Virus Horror

A spokesperson for the silent majority said, “we have the Loch Ness Monster – protected in law by the government – so we cannot risk the virus doing more damage. Already people have been panic buying in supermarkets and no hand sanitizer is available, with pasta and toilet paper among other items now is short supply”.

Anyone arriving in The Highlands could be dealt with by ever stricter quarantine policies and Invergordon has already announced a potential sinking of cruise ferry arrivals. Empty hotels and restaurants are reeling.

Stunning Loch Ness Helicopter Rescue

Locals were stunned today as a large mountain rescue helicopter hovered above a Loch Ness mountain and a member of crew winched down to rescue and unidentified individual.

Loch Ness Mission
Loch Ness Mission

“I was searching the area for evidence that Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, had recently traveled through it”, Loch Ness Research Project Leader Professor Kettle said. “Suddenly this helicopter was very close and we realised something very bad had happened”.

It is unclear what took place but the government has never denied local information that the site is regularly used for secret purposes like the Plague Islands that lie off the Hebrides.

Secret Mission Zone
Secret Mission Zone

From time to time, strange night lights and radio waves are detectable at this Area51 zone by Loch Ness.

There have been many officially logged UFO reports by locals and visitors to Inveness, Drumnadrochit and Foyers.

The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board was unavailable for comment.

New DNA Research Finds No Trace of Loch Ness Monster

In a startling public statement, Loch Ness Researchers have concluded that months of painstaking analysis of water from Loch Ness have yielded absolutely no evidence of un-identified DNA.

“We have been looking for deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) and comparing it against a database of known aquatic life forms in Loch Ness”, Professor Kettle explained to the press.

“Unfortunately we have not been successful but this does not prove that Nessie does not exist.” You can clearly see here in this video from The Nessie On The Net! Loch Ness Live Cams and we will continue the hunt.

Word Exclusive – Two Nessies Captured on Our Loch Ness Live Cams!

Read more in The Sun newspaper and you can continually hunt live for the Loch Ness Monster here.

Dangerous Toxic Algal Bloom Fears For Loch Ness

After Environmental Health officials posted official warning about swimming or consuming dangerous toxic water from Loch Watten, fears have spread that Loch Ness may soon be at risk too.

Algal
Toxic Algal Infestation

Professor Kettle of The Loch Ness Internet Research Project said, “this type of algal infestation is something we constantly guard against. It’s nasty and it’s dangerous and could pose a serious risk to locals, visitors and Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster”.

The official warning is available online.

Speculation mounts that a government helicopter searched for land based Loch Ness Monster today

Helicopter searches for Loch Ness Monster
Helicopter searches for Loch Ness Monster

Locals were stunned today when the government dispatched a highly sophisticated helicopter to search for Nessie, the ever elusive Loch Ness Monster. Exclusive photographs have been provided to this Blog showing an extensive search after a hill walker reported seeing “something strange but massive lumbering over rocks” on the mountain above Loch Ness.

An un-named spokesman for HM Search & Rescue said “obviously we are aware that Nessie is a Protected Species under the Animal Welfare Act and we have a duty to ensure she is safe and not in danger of capture or injury by nefarious individuals or trophy hunters. Accordingly we dispatched and Air & Sea Search & Rescue helicopter with the latest location technology.”

The spokesman added, “on this occasion we did not locate The Loch Ness Monster but were able to secure the area and make sure the beast was safe. Since the famous Spicer Sighting of 1936 Nessie has often been seen on land and we regularly patrol the area in support of Professor Kettle’s Loch Ness Internet Research Project and other local authorities”.

Nice new photo of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster?

There is a nice new photo in today’s Daily Mail of a possible Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Resident expert Professor Kettle isn’t sure though: “It does look very much like a boat wake. The weird standing waves and undersea currents in Loch Ness often cause things that look strange to folk who come across them for the first time.”

However, dedicated monster hunter Mikko, of Nessie on the Net! and the Loch Ness Live Cams said, “it is clearly a creature swimming just below the surface of the loch. I’ve seen this time and again and it adds to the irrefutable proof that a cryptid (unidentified cryptozoological beast) is living in Loch Ness.”

Tell us what you think of the photos, you can see them in today’s Daily Mail newspaper.