Loch Ness Monster Sized Shambles

A Nessie the Loch Ness Monster sized mess!

Well, it had to happen. The Olympics has become nothing but a sad farce with British “jobsworth” Advertising and Standards police apparently stripping down Pepsi Cola posters in favour of Coca Cola, a main sponsor, and threatening the law against little old ladies daring to knit childrens’ teddy bears sporting the Olympic ring logo.

Now hapless security firm G4S – apparently run by Mr Bean – has come a cropper over its own ridiculous corporate anthem. You can read the lyrics and then watch the Youtube video (underneath the lyrics) here. The British Army has had to take over security at the last moment – along with the police – and even they have been told they must smile at all times and put their lunchtime potato snack crisps into a plain plastic bag (for sponsorship reasons).

The Olympics – you simply couldn’t make it up! One unholy Loch Ness Monster sized expensive horrendous omni shambles! Nessie must think it is terrible!

US to teach students reality of Loch Ness Monster

In the southern state of Louisiana in the USA, school pupils will be taught that the Loch Ness Monster is real in an attempt to dispute Charles Darwin’s theory of evolution.

Speaking from his Loch Ness side project, Professor Kettle stated, “we are very excited about this development. It shows that people around the world are keen to find out the truth about the prehistoric creature living in this massive murky world”.

Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, has been seen dozens of times over the years and millions of people have visited the area with the hope of catching a glimpse of the elusive creature. Many cryptozoologists speculate that Nessie is in fact one of a large family of dinosaurs that navigate between the deep oceans and Loch Ness each year.

More on this story is in The Scotsman.