Tag: Loch Ness

APPEAL: PLEASE DO NOT VISIT LOCH NESS OR THE HIGHLANDS AND ISLANDS DURING CORONAVIRUS COVID19.

Our heath service and shops are already at BREAKING POINT and your visit may result in your own death or somebody else’s as supplies and facilities run out. You will be welcome again in the future but please be responsible and do not come now.

Our appeal is being bolstered by many responsible businesses already closing to visitors (including B&Bs and hostels). But where we see hotels etc. continue to open to tourists against the advice of government (who have requested “social distancing at ALL times of at least 2 metres”) we ask you to complain about them and ask your booking agent or website to cancel their accounts and to email info@visitscotland.com to complain to them and campaign for them to publish prominent advice to visitors to STAY AWAY.

We are pleased that other Tourist Agencies including North Coast 500 and Routes To The Isles are already taking action to try and persuade tourists and visitors to DO THE DECENT THING and STAY AWAY.

Black Isle Beauty Spot “begs” tourists to stay away.

Thank You.

Loch Ness Coronavirus Covid-19 Horror

Inverness by Loch Ness starts Coronavirus Testing in Emergency Army Style Horror

Locals and visitors to the areas have been very concerned as “Drive-Thru” Bio-Hazard tents have been erected to test people for the deadly coronavirus COVID-19. Medical staff at Raigmore hospital attend the plague containment units wearing special suits and breathing apparatus.

Loch Ness Corona Virus
Loch Ness Corona Virus Horror

A spokesperson for the silent majority said, “we have the Loch Ness Monster – protected in law by the government – so we cannot risk the virus doing more damage. Already people have been panic buying in supermarkets and no hand sanitizer is available, with pasta and toilet paper among other items now is short supply”.

Anyone arriving in The Highlands could be dealt with by ever stricter quarantine policies and Invergordon has already announced a potential sinking of cruise ferry arrivals. Empty hotels and restaurants are reeling.

Inverness Street Peddler faces trial for multiple alleged rapes including child victims.

Kim Gordon (aka Kim Avis aka Kem) is accused of raping three women and attempting to rape one of them when she was 12.

Inverness Scotland
Inverness Scotland

The 55-year-old is also accused of sexually assaulting a girl when she was 11 and faces breach of the peace and threatening and abusive behaviour charges.

The allegations cover a period between January 1997 and March this year and mainly relate to alleged incidents in the Inverness area.

The trial will commence in Edinburgh High Court on 20 March 2020.

Read more in The Press & Journal.

Blot On The Landscape As Countryside Levelled For Inverness Westway

Yes, it may be the 2019 but Highland Council has decided to buck the trend towards modernity and build a hideous new transit road by levelling ancient oak woods and huge swathes of countryside to install a “swing bridge” on a major arterial road.

A82 Inverness West Link By Pass
A82 Inverness West Link By Pass

Not only does Inverness suffer from appalling infrastructure including pothole cratered roads and a single track Victorian railway to the south, its Internet and mobile coverage is so bad in many places that it registers on a scale well below many parts of the 3rd world.

“It’s all just superb” as the lavish freebies and expenses crazed city “leaders” would say, but judge for yourself: It’s a sad sad joke and terrible damage to wildlife and habitat just compounds the folly.

Read more here and the picture gives a view of a small part of the carnage.

Hopes fade about new Inverness & Highlands Caledonian Sleeper Service

Caledonian Sleeper Inverness
Caledonian Sleeper Inverness

The new train’s rolling stock has been beset by problems with reports of brake fails, dodgy plumbing and cold or hot rooms with poor showers and uncomfortable beds. Tickets cost up to £400 (approx $450) for a London – Inverness return ticket (you can fly for as little as £15 each way!!!)

All-in-all I think it sounds dreadful. We’ll see what mess happens next.

Ebola Loch Ness?

We’re no sure what is happening around Loch Ness but there have been a number of people in bio hazard suits seen taking samples around the area. When approached these people mumble “national security” and refuse to answer any questions. It is known that a lot of visitors have been using surrounding woodlands as toilet areas, particularly since Highland Council introduced a 50p charge for village toilets in Drumnadrochit.

Bio hazard
Bio Loch Ness Hazard

The catastrophe follows a period a few years ago in which thousands of tourists and others were seen throwing dead chickens into the loch. There was widespread concern at the time that Avian Flue could kill Nessie as dinosaurs are known to be the ancestors of today’s birds.

Fortunately the chicken craze has dwindled but now something more deadly may be in the water or surrounding areas. We have managed to gain some insight since an anonymous whistle blower contacted Professor Kettle of The Loch Ness Research Project. He said, “we have found a virus and are evaluating its danger to the public. It is believed to have accidentally been released from a research laboratory and travelled to the Loch Ness area on board a Caledonian Canal barge carrying a scientist on holiday”.

“I can’t say more at the moment as this very worrying and matters are progressing fast. People do need to wash their hands regularly”.

Nobody from the Local Contingencies Commission was available for comment at time of going to press.

Will Inverness Provost Get Her Own Chain to Wear When She Leaves Office? Also, it’s official: Highland Council is “mad, bad and sad”.

Locals often engage in the hilarious “spot the provost in her chain” game in Inverness. The particular councilor sometimes seems to try and get half a dozen photos of herself in various poises in the same edition of the local paper. It is a bit like watching the joker mayor in the film “Carry on Girls”, only in his case the hapless guy in the chain-of-office got photo’d every time his trousers fell down.

Pothole
Provost Chain of Office Trumps The Potholes

Now an anonymous American donor is rumoured to be considering buying a full size copy chain-of-office to give to the self styled first lady of the town so that she can wear it after she loses election (hopefully as soon as possible since Highland Council is a ramshackle shambles) or retires. That way she can continue to wear it pretty much all the time, just like she appears to now.

If you spot Inverness provost in her chain doing the shopping at her local supermarket, don’t laugh. Apparent vanity is a debilitating condition and we hope she gets better soon.

In separate developments a Highland Councilor has quit the shambolic local authority stating it is now just “the mad, the bad, and the sad” . Well done , Inverness Councillor Richard Laird – we couldn’t agree more. Read it all here.

A Location App That Could Save Your Life With Three Words – What3Words

We’re always suspicious of claims made for this and that but if you’re setting off on a hike, ride, boating or climbing around Loch Ness (or anywhere else in the world) then please consider loading up “What 3 Words” App onto your phone.

It is genius (and free!). The boffins have split the world into trillions of tiny squares and the App changes your complicated latitude and longitude into a unique combination of three words, which you can give to anybody – including the emergency services – who need to find *exactly* where you are. Even the police are urging folk to use it.

We use it, give it a try – and read more about it on the BBC.

What3Words website is here.