Will Inverness Provost Get Her Own Chain to Wear When She Leaves Office? Also, it’s official: Highland Council is “mad, bad and sad”.

Locals often engage in the hilarious “spot the provost in her chain” game in Inverness. The particular councilor sometimes seems to try and get half a dozen photos of herself in various poises in the same edition of the local paper. It is a bit like watching the joker mayor in the film “Carry on Girls”, only in his case the hapless guy in the chain-of-office got photo’d every time his trousers fell down.

Pothole
Provost Chain of Office Trumps The Potholes

Now an anonymous American donor is rumoured to be considering buying a full size copy chain-of-office to give to the self styled first lady of the town so that she can wear it after she loses election (hopefully as soon as possible since Highland Council is a ramshackle shambles) or retires. That way she can continue to wear it pretty much all the time, just like she appears to now.

If you spot Inverness provost in her chain doing the shopping at her local supermarket, don’t laugh. Apparent vanity is a debilitating condition and we hope she gets better soon.

In separate developments a Highland Councilor has quit the shambolic local authority stating it is now just “the mad, the bad, and the sad” . Well done , Inverness Councillor Richard Laird – we couldn’t agree more. Read it all here.

A Location App That Could Save Your Life With Three Words – What3Words

We’re always suspicious of claims made for this and that but if you’re setting off on a hike, ride, boating or climbing around Loch Ness (or anywhere else in the world) then please consider loading up “What 3 Words” App onto your phone.

It is genius (and free!). The boffins have split the world into trillions of tiny squares and the App changes your complicated latitude and longitude into a unique combination of three words, which you can give to anybody – including the emergency services – who need to find *exactly* where you are. Even the police are urging folk to use it.

We use it, give it a try – and read more about it on the BBC.

What3Words website is here.

Loch Ness Swimmer and alleged multiple rapist reappears in court and says “sorry” for jumping bail

Inverness alleged rapist  held in jail
Inverness alleged rapist held in jail

Kim Gordon aka Ken Gordon aka Kim Vincent Avis etc. was once described by Highland Council as a “great ambassador for Inverness”. Now, after being charged in Scotland with 24 counts of alleged rape and sexual assault of women and children plus assault, lewd behaviour and skipping bail he was finally re-captured in the USA by US Marshals – he had apparently faked his own death to avoid justice.

He has now been extradited back to Scotland and was remanded into custody pending new charges by the judge, to whom Avis apparently said apologised for doing a runner!

You can read much more here about the alleged Loch Ness Monster.

Stunning Loch Ness Helicopter Rescue

Locals were stunned today as a large mountain rescue helicopter hovered above a Loch Ness mountain and a member of crew winched down to rescue and unidentified individual.

Loch Ness Mission
Loch Ness Mission

“I was searching the area for evidence that Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster, had recently traveled through it”, Loch Ness Research Project Leader Professor Kettle said. “Suddenly this helicopter was very close and we realised something very bad had happened”.

It is unclear what took place but the government has never denied local information that the site is regularly used for secret purposes like the Plague Islands that lie off the Hebrides.

Secret Mission Zone
Secret Mission Zone

From time to time, strange night lights and radio waves are detectable at this Area51 zone by Loch Ness.

There have been many officially logged UFO reports by locals and visitors to Inveness, Drumnadrochit and Foyers.

The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board was unavailable for comment.

Loch Ness Swimmer and Alleged Rapist, Kim Avis (aka Kim Gordon) Extradited Back to Scotland

Inverness Street Busker Fugitive
Inverness Street Busker Fugitive

US Marshals captured the Inverness busker who skipped bail instead of attending Edinburgh High Court a and fled to the USA, allegedly faked his own death and went on the run as a fugitive.

Kim or Kem is wanted for 24 alleged offenses including rapes, child sex assault, lewd behaviour and other serious matters. He was flown back to Scotland on Friday to face justice. Read more in The Inverness Courier.

Loch Ness and Scotland Warned: “Worst Winter For 30 Years Is Coming”

We had the 2018 Beast from the East but now climatologists from University Of London are warning that the “coldest longest winter for three decades is coming to Scotland.” Our own live weather data is here.

Mega Winter Forecast
Mega Winter Forecast

This could be a nightmare scenario as politicians have wasted £billions on mega wind farms that have completely blighted the once pristine Highlands and kill wildlife include rare eagles.

To add insult to injury the turbines sit idle when there is no wind (often the coldest iciest still days) or the shut down when it is too strong (cold winter days). So the UK including Scotland fall back on imported gas and coal plus nuclear generated power from France via the English Channel Interconnector.

The roads are already in a shocking state and healthcare and schools are forecast not to be able to cope.

Read the full shocking story here.

New DNA Research Finds No Trace of Loch Ness Monster

In a startling public statement, Loch Ness Researchers have concluded that months of painstaking analysis of water from Loch Ness have yielded absolutely no evidence of un-identified DNA.

“We have been looking for deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA) and comparing it against a database of known aquatic life forms in Loch Ness”, Professor Kettle explained to the press.

“Unfortunately we have not been successful but this does not prove that Nessie does not exist.” You can clearly see here in this video from The Nessie On The Net! Loch Ness Live Cams and we will continue the hunt.

Word Exclusive – Two Nessies Captured on Our Loch Ness Live Cams!

Read more in The Sun newspaper and you can continually hunt live for the Loch Ness Monster here.

Highland Council Leader Welcomes River Mess Waste of Money

It hasn’t taken long for councilors, past and present, to throw their voices behind the appalling and disgusting erection they are thrusting up alongside the beautiful and environmentally sensitive River Ness.

Highland Council "art"
Highland Council art – only £750,000

Highland Council leader Margaret Davidson welcomed it (unsurprising when you look at her track record of supporting the blot on the landscape at Urquhart Castle , which is so ugly that every advertising photo is carefully angled to exclude any sight of it).

Former councilor Thomas Prag has been involved with various awful so called “art” projects and was another enthusiastic endorser of the Berlin Wall Project. The provost (we wonder if she actually sleeps with her chain of office on, as it appears to be melted onto her skin or fixed with Gorilla Glue) also welcomed her own decision making process. From top to bottom, Highland Council has taken its tax payers to the cleaners, ram raided the common good fund for cash and slashed the budgets of essential care services to build its drunks and druggies den and make Inverness River Mess.