Nessie, The Loch Ness Monster is as excited as the rest of the country as Britain prepares for a general election – likely to be called by the Prime Minister when he goes to Buckingham palace to ask the queen to dissolve parliament tomorrow. That would mean that Nessie is likely to be seen on 6th May as she makes her way to the local ballot box in Drumnadrochit to cast her vote.
Nessie’s voting intentions are not known but at least this time she will not be humiliated by the Publican Party who were set up by a bunch of pub landlords angry at the cigarette smoking ban in Scotland. They got a local Nessie emporium to let them trundle a large model of our beloved cryptid around the locality – with a huge cigarette hanging out of her mouth. What a disgrace that was.
We’ll have to wait and see who wins the election but whoever it is, life will only get harder for us all here as the government takes our cash to give it to the millionaire bankers. They need ever bigger bonuses for the great work they do wrecking our economy.