Highland councillors breathed a huge sigh of relief yesterday as Britain’s sleazy and corrupt “honourable and right honourable” members of Parliament maneuvered to keep their snouts deeply in the tax-payer funded trough.
Sources close to one councillor said, “they are so overcome with joy that they are planning a a private invitation only party at Loch Ness (on expenses of course) to celebrate their victory over ordinary, decent hard working people”.
The councillor was quite unapologetic and continued, “it’s just great news. We only became councillors to get our snouts in the trough and this means we can give ourselves even more perks – more free lunches with expensive champagne, more free hospitality and five star VIP treatment as we travel abroad on first class to see how our foreign counterparts are manging to fiddle their own electorates out of as much money as possible”.
Staff at Professor Kettle’s Loch Ness project were less than impressed. Said one, “we work twenty hours per day for a pittance to try and find Nessie, the area’s elusive cryptid, and it’s sickening to see the corrupt councillors swanning about in expensive cars and generally rubbing our noses in it”. But another councillor dismissed these comments and said, “they are just jealous and sour that we get all the perks while they do all the work.”