White witch petitions the queen to protect Loch Ness Monster

Nessie the Loch Ness Monster has been besieged lately by various hunters intent on blowing her out of the water, harpooning her or poisoning her home. To help her out, High Priest of White witches, Kevin Carlyon, has petitioned the queen and Tony Blair. You can read more about this gallant plan in The Press and Journal here.

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