Loch Ness Monster faces threat from French flu slaughter

Worrying times for Nessie the Loch Ness Monster as avian H5N1 flu lands a few short miles away in France. Today we hear that they are butchering tens of thousands of turkeys and yet no official action has been taken to stop visitors to Loch Ness throwing their unwanted chicken take-ways into the water or the much more serious problem of egg-baiting and raw chicken tossing that the area experiences (see previous blog entries below).

We call on the authorities here to impose a ban on these activities to preserve human health and to save Nessie’s life. An old dinosaur is very vulnerable to flu from its close relatives – the birds.

Blogging it as it is

New political Loch Ness Monster blog: Yes I’ve set up an all new Blog at our sister site Quangobustersbecause I am heartily sick of just about everyone and anyone to do with politics. It’s been a mean old month in Scotland and Europe and it doesn’t show must chance of getting better. Blogs are evidently the only way that anybody with common sense can get their message across these days.

Loch Ness Monster consumes too much cholesterol

This is an odd one: Researchers at the loch have discovered that a high dietary consumption of eels is bad for plesiosaurs. Apparently Loch Ness does not provide a varied diet and so the question now is: How can Nessie survive for so many years when normal folk are knocked out by a much lower cholesterol intake?

Loch Ness shenanigans

Nessie the Loch Ness Monster is looking for stories about the real goings on around her home in the 1970s and 80s. There have been a lot of very dodgy people up here over the years and there still are still some very dodgy and weird goings on. If you have anything juicy to tell us please let us know as we are actively collecting these things with a view to publication. Some of our little secrets will make your hair stand on end!