Confusion abounds over $1million “bounty” for Nessie

We read in the papers that there is a $1million bounty out for the capture of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster but despite pointing out the possible illegality of capturing Nessie, we have heard nothing from the promoters of this poorly thought-out scheme. Well, action has to be taken to protect the poor beast so we are writing to the Northern Constabulary seek assurances that Nessie will be given the full protection accorded to her under the law. Money tends to bring out the worst in people and we already have the prospect of an avian flu infection reaching Loch Ness, as people continue to ignore the warning to stop throwing chickens into the water.

We well remember the spectacle of the late “Desperate Dan Taylor” who seemed hell-bent on coming here in a home-spun submarine fitted with a harpoon gun to attack Nessie. Thankfully he was put off coming when some of us here started pointing out that we would use every environmental protection law and some to keep his tub out of our waters. But a million bucks is a lot of cash – so who knows what new horror will set its sights on poor Nessie’s hide.

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